Soul Mates?

Week 34

I believe that God brought Whitney into my life. She is "the one." But I am not convinced that God cares SO much about every marriage that he only created one perfect person for everyone. Marriage and love is never going to be perfect. That is because WE are not perfect. 

It isn't just about finding your soul mate. Marriage is about loving the person you have chosen. In good times and bad. In sickness and health. When you have those "feelings" and when you don't. Marriage is a vow...a commitment. Give it your all!

I read something interesting on the world of Facebook. Here is a portion of it: 

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. 

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

It is easy to fall in love

It takes work to plan a wedding

It takes a lifetime to build a marriage

Cheerleaders

Week 33

Personally, I hope my daughters NEVER become cheerleaders. I will do whatever it takes to make sure it doesn't happen. But there is something that comes sort of natural with many young girls that makes them want to be a cheerleader. Is it the outfit? The attention? The friendships? The jumping and dancing? I don't know. But whatever it is, there are a lot of them out there.

Male cheerleaders aren't looked on too fondly by most guys. But the college cheerleaders are incredibly ripped and they get to be up close and personal with some good looking girls. Not the worst place to be. 

In general, men are not natural cheerleaders. We are better at complaining, being pessimistic (or realistic as I see it), making a game plan, and problem-solving. I have found that in marriage, my wife needs me to be a cheerleader for her at times.

She needs to know I have her back and can encourage her no matter what. It doesn't come natural to me, but I know it is so important to Whitney to have words of encouragement - even when everything inside of me wants to say what I "really" think. 

Fight the urge to be negative. Use uplifting words when she is trying something new or working toward a difficult goal. Be a cheerleader...for her and for your marriage.

It is easy to fall in love

It takes work to plan a wedding

It takes a lifetime to build a marriage

Don't push the button!

Week 32

Whatever you do - Don't push the button!!

I am a button pusher. Always have been, always will be. It started when I was young. Cory's temper had so many buttons, it was just so easy to push them. 

I wouldn't say I was a big button pusher with everybody, but certain people made it very tempting. Even as a dad, I know how to push buttons. I will do it on occasion. Wil has some big buttons and they are easy to push. I know, bad dad. But I'm here to talk about being a husband.

I learned early on that Whitney was not someone who liked to be teased - especially in public. Poking fun at the expense of Whitney really tears her down. I guess nobody really "enjoys" being teased, but some have thicker skin than others. Some just like any attention. Not Whitney. In order to make/keep her happy, I have learned to use self control - especially in public. When it is just the two of us, I do tease her once in a while. But in that setting, it isn't a huge deal.

She has her angry buttons. I know how to make her go from a little mad to very angry. I have to respect and love her enough to don't push that button! 

And then there are buttons that make Whitney cry. I am guilty of pushing that button (very intentionally) a couple of months ago. I know it was wrong. I knew she would cry when she said it (although I knew it would be an overreaction, and in her normal state of mind - Whitney would agree it was an overreaction too). Thankfully, I don't really push that button more than a few times in our marriage. 

So whatever you do - don't push the button!

It is easy to fall in love

It takes work to plan a wedding

It takes a lifetime to build a marriage