50% + 50% =

Week 4

One of my favorite things I have heard from others over the years is the myth of 50/50. It could be understood that a marriage partnership means that one gives 50% and the other gives 50%. Together, that makes a great marriage...right? Well, not exactly. 

In a business relationship, two people cutting the work in half and focusing on part of the job is a recipe for success. But this concept would fail a marriage. If each person only gives part of themselves to the other and to their marriage, what happens to the rest? That ¨other 50%¨ is being used and invested in things other than your spouse. That is not a way to carry out a marriage successfully. 

This isn't suggesting that both parties need to both be involved in everything. There is room for sharing and/or splitting responsibilities (cooking, finances, cleaning, organizing, planning, etc.). But ultimately, both people need to give all of themselves to their spouse. A great marriage will see both partners giving 100% of themselves.  


Here are a couple quotes from an article I read:

Alvin, married 63 years, said, “Don’t consider a marriage a 50/50 affair! Consider it a 100 percent affair. The only way you can make a marriage work is to have both parties give a hundred percent every time.”

And Kay, married 54 years, said, “… anybody that goes into marriage saying, ‘Oh, this is going to be 50/50,’ it doesn’t happen. You can’t live in the same house with the same person all those years and always divide it down the half.”

When both people put 100% of themselves into their marriage, all kinds of harmful things should eventually minimize or even disappear: control, jealousy, bitterness, selfishness, ¨keeping score,¨ and a lot more marriage killers. Give all of yourself to your bride. Every day. It is worth the investment. 

It is easy to fall in love

It takes work to plan a wedding

It takes a lifetime to build a marriage