Week 18
Time is the biggest obstacle. It is good to communicate and plan out how your time will be spent in the holiday season. Every family is different so there isn't one right way to handle it. Some level of compromise is going to help. Thankfully, Whitney and I have come up with ways to see both sides of the family. It makes for a busy time, but we think it is important for us to make time for both sides. Some families (especially as the family grows) find two Thanksgivings on the same day to be too stressful. They shouldn't do it. The best advice is to communicate with each other about the options and make a final decision that both you and your wife can be satisfied with.
Aside from how you spend your time, holiday traditions is another thing that comes up in marriage. Whitney always opened up gifts on Christmas Eve. I didn't really like doing that. Whitney's family was very big on the idea of an unwrapped "Santa gift." I never really thought about that. I like to always make room for church on Christmas Eve. Whitney's family was always enjoying dinner, presents, etc. during that time. Whitney's family is real big on gifts. I am not as big of a gift person.
We had a lot to figure out in terms of traditions. Should our kids believe in Santa? Why or why not? When do we open presents? When do we go to church? How do we incorporate the real meaning of Christmas into our traditions? How to decorate the tree? When to go shopping? How many presents to buy?
Whitney and I had to talk through all of these things. Some of it is still fluid and changing. Most of it has remained consistent. We know what works for us and that is the most important thing. But without talking about it (including some spirited discussion, negotiation, and compromise) - that wouldn't have happened. Because we did all of that, the holidays are much, much better.
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